Pentium Problem Produces Plethora of Puns

        The following jokes have been circulating on the Internet, following Intels announcement about the flaw in it's Pentium chip.

        The Top Ten Reasons To Buy a Pentium Machine

        1. It'll probably work!
        2. You got a great deal from JPL.
        3. You no longer have to worry about CPU overheating.
        4. The Intel Inside logo matches your decor perfectly.
        5. You've always wondered what it would be like to be a plaintiff.
        6. You want to see what all the fuss is about.
        7. You need an alibi for the I.R.S.
        8. Math errors add zest to life.
        9. You want to get into the Guiness Book as Owner of most expensive paperweight.
        10. Your current computer is too accurate.
        Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light 
   bulb?
A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical 
   people.

Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research 
   grant?
A: A mad scientist.

Q: What's another name for the Intel Inside
   sticker they put on Pentiums?
A: Warning label.

Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? 
A: Successive approximations.

Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as 
   Multiply is to
1) Divide
2) ROUND
3) RANDOM
4) On a Pentium, all of the above
A: Number 4.

Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating 
   point divider? 
A: Life is like a box of chocolates. (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and 
   got 585.999983605.

Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards 
   754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft 
   designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of IEEE?
A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

        Top ten new Intel slogans for the Pentium:

        1. The Errata Inside
        2. Were Looking for a Few Good Flaws
        3. Division Considered Harmful
        4. Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
        5. We Fixed It, Really
        6. Redefining the PC and Mathematics As Well
        7. You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
        8. Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
        9. It's Close Enough, We Say So
        10. It's a FLAW, not a Bug


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